tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57738569453657105912024-03-13T22:24:40.951-07:00Samantha Ann & WilliamChristinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16568641313439268845noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5773856945365710591.post-1923950391350432162010-12-14T20:22:00.000-08:002010-12-14T20:22:15.445-08:00Holidays For Me<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999;">Well it is that time of year! The time when I miss my kids the most. When I wish they were here to hold and love! I wish I could watch you open gifts and see a smile on your faces when you see your gift! That is the thing I wish I had! I wish I had hugs from you and kisses! I wish I could hold you when you go to sleep and watch you dream! I wish I could go shopping for you and not know what to get you! I wish that I had to hide you gifts so you would think that Santa brought them for you! Be there the day you tell me that there is no Santa! Then I have to tell you yes there is! I wish that you was here to tell me thank you when you get just what you want! <b>I wish that you could be here!</b> </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><u style="background-color: #ea9999;">Love Mommy</u></div>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16568641313439268845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5773856945365710591.post-65955683067121725192010-11-08T12:39:00.000-08:002010-11-08T12:39:02.353-08:00Kellie and how she was with the loss of my babys!I remember when I gave birth to my first daughter I was so happy to have her. Any one who knows me knows she is my world. I love her very much. but I can remember when I was pregnant with Samantha she would talk to my belly and tell he I am you big sister. I loved it so sweet. When I went in to have Sam Kellie was with her grand parents for the day they went shopping in Fort Wayne. All i wanted was Kellie when Sam had passed. When she got the she had no clue what was going on she was only two. To have to tell a two year old the sister was not coming home was no easy. She still did not understand what was going on. We went through the viewing and funeral with her there. I loved it when I would hear her Laughing it helped me so much. She would take people up to Sam and tell them that is my baby sister and she is with Jesus. I would cry and she would Say" Mommy don't cry I love you!" I would cry more. We thought she understood But she did not.We had to go back to the hospital to sign the Samantha's birth certificate and we had Kellie with us.We went in and she was fine we did what we needed to do and went out the door. Just as we did Kellie started to scream she scared the crap out of me! i ask her what was wrong and she said that I needed to go back in there and get her sister. Then I lost it and started to cry. So we had to explain to her that Sam was not at there she was with Jesus in Heaven. So we ended up at the cemetery with her that day and that helped her a little bit it took a long time for to under stand!<br />
Well with William, Kellie was older she was five. She kept saying she did not want a brother. So when I lost William she cried and kept saying it was her fault because she had said that. Trying to tell a five year that she had nothing to do with it was very hard. But Kellie is smart and she understood after a while.<br />
So when someone you know losses a baby think about the other kids in the family to. They need as much love as Mom and Dad do!Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16568641313439268845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5773856945365710591.post-79399074639765828332010-11-07T09:48:00.000-08:002010-11-07T09:48:27.267-08:00Oh Mother, My mother<center><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> ~Oh Mother, my mother~ </i></b></span></span></center> <div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i><span><span style="background-color: magenta;"></span></span>Oh Mother, my mother </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> I touch your tears </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> invisible fingers </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> soothing your skin </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i>I know you think of me so often </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> in the day, in the night, </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> in your dreams </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> going into an empty nursery </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> knowing I'll never be there </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> but I am...in your heart </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i>in your soul, I shall always be </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> for you gave so unselfishly </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> of yourself </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i>Inside of you, you created </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> such a world for me </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> a world of laughter, of love </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> of sadness, of sorrow </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i>every emotion people come to know </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> you shared with me </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> And even though I may never </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> feel your arms around me </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> I felt your heart beating, </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> like a lullaby, singing me to sleep </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i>and your spirit giving me a safe haven </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> already protecting me </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> nurturing me </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i>preparing me of things to come. </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> But sometimes the journey </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> of life pulls souls apart </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> and yes, I had to go on </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> to another place. </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> I wish I could stay </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i>I wish this was a decision </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> I could make </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> and I know you do too. </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i>Know this wherever you are: </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> I will always remember </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> that yours was the first love </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> the first joy, the first soul </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> I will ever know </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i>you gave me the courage to </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> go on in my journey </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> I hope I can do the same </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> for you </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i>Your heart beat will always </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> call me to you. </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><b><i> Love, your child </i></b></span></span></div>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16568641313439268845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5773856945365710591.post-62361192545633293612010-10-13T19:50:00.000-07:002010-10-13T19:51:56.592-07:00Well what a day! <i><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Talked to my niece today she was having a sad day! Needles to say it was because of a careless mistake that someone was just not thinking when they did it! You don't send a baby shower invite to someone that has just lost there baby. I remember after Samantha died I could not even go through the baby department a Walmart it would make me cry. But at the same time my best friend had her baby three days after I had Samantha. Talk about hard but I think it helped some to I was so hurt for my loss but trying to be happy for her at the same time. Years later me and her talked about it and how hard it was for her to at that time because she was scared to that it would happen to her. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> I wish Heather the best in all this and that some day she will feel better! But for now </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I hope people think be for they act and remember that it is ok to cry when ever you want to. I love you Samantha & William and miss you more then you will ever know! <3</span></i>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16568641313439268845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5773856945365710591.post-36856779402334968342010-10-09T17:49:00.000-07:002010-10-09T17:49:25.915-07:00My Baby's<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em> My first angel that went to heaven was my Samantha Ann Bleikamp. She went to be with God on September 14, 2001. All I could think was why me? Why did God chose me to go through this? It took me a long time to get through this and with alot of help I did. </em></span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial;">My second angel was born William Robert Budd. He went to be with God on May 22, 2004. Then again I was still trying to figer out why me? Gods chose me for a reson what was it? </span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Well never ask why when it comes to God you might not want the anser you get! I now know that God did this so that I could help others that go through this. I now have two nieces that have go through a lose of a baby. I would never wanted them to go through this nore do I want any one else to. I love my family very much and it hurts me to see this happen to them. It is only by the Grace of God that I made it through my loss. </span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial;"> With Love Mom & Aunt Chrissy</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></em>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16568641313439268845noreply@blogger.com0